|
To mark the publication of our new NdC Original resource: Safeguarding Neurodivergent Individuals from Spiritual Abuse, Kay Louise Aldred shares her experience of spiritual abuse and offers two suggested applications for the resource she has authored.I doubt I’m alone in the neurodivergent community in being a ‘seeker’ of belonging, connection, meaning and purpose, or as someone who has looked for these things within a variety of community settings, organisations, and places, after not experiencing them in my family of origin or schooling.
This lifelong compulsion and search to fulfil these (entirely natural, yet unmet) needs positioned me onto a lifelong path of studying, experiencing, and training in theology, spirituality, and wellness modalities. On my journey and within these communities, I encountered extremes and very little moderation, ‘middle way’ or balance. There were either blissful, ecstatic, and sacred teachings, practices and experiences of love, transcendence, and oneness (often dissociative in nature and out of touch with reality and day to day life) or teachings, practices and experiences of the exact opposite, hate, darkness, and division. In addition, I have personally experienced myself or witnessed others being groomed, exploited, bullied, and abused, including sexually, within these settings; religious, spiritual and wellness forums. It was all very binary; either/or, us versus them, right or wrong, which on the one hand appealed to my longing for the ‘right’ way to live but on the other led to fear, mistrust, stress, restriction, masking, and exclusion. In my lived personal and professional experience, I believe neurodivergence has increased my own and others vulnerability and risk within these arenas. Dr Devon Price writes in Unmasking Autism. The Power of Embracing our Hidden Neurodiversity, that although they have found no empirical evidence of the prevalence of this, they also see the correlation. Price writes, ‘When you have never been able to move through the world comfortably, you’ll seek relief and meaning where you can find it. For a subset of Autistic people, that means falling into abusive, cultlike communities.”— Dr Devon Price, Unmasking Autism. The Power of Embracing our Hidden Neurodiversity, p 132 With that said, here at Neurodiverse Connection we have produced a new resource for our Grooming and Coercive Control Summit called Safeguarding Neurodivergent Individuals from Spiritual Abuse. I’d like to offer two suggestions for its wider application below: 01 Andrew Tate as a promotor of abuse, and his exploitation of the human need for purpose, meaning and belonging. While opinions about Andrew Tate can vary widely, there are certain aspects of his public persona and statements which can be red flagged:
02 Online Wellness Influencers and their online courses as fraudulent and exploitive. Red flags to consider when discerning whether to follow an online influencer or buy their products or resources:
Remember to trust your gut instinct. If you are unsure or encounter any of these or other red flags consult professionals, do additional research or contact national advisory organisations, such as Citizens Advice, or ask trusted friends or family to get alternative perspectives. This is a repost of a blog originally posted here: https://ndconnection.co.uk/blog/spiritual-safeguarding?rq=aldred Original post date 20th November 2023.
0 Comments
Kay Louise Aldred introduces our Neurodivergent Wellbeing Approach Training. This holistic, well-being focused training programme is open to neurodivergent individuals, their families and friends, as well as professionals including hospital teams, community teams, educators, third sector groups. NdWA training comprises eight online sessions, running from 30 January—26 March 2024. More information here.
Centring practitioner wellbeing is a crucial, yet often forgotten or dismissed aspect of creating a sustainable and effective service. When health care, social care or educational professionals are supported and prioritised in terms of their own physical, mental, and emotional health, it can have a profound impact on service user, client or student wellbeing and overall service provision. Here at Neurodiverse Connection, we take the importance of practitioner wellbeing and regulation very seriously and our bespoke Neurodivergent Wellbeing Training is based on the concept of ‘experience to share’. Uniquely, it is a wellbeing programme for attendees themselves primarily, that they can then role model and share with people they work with. Recent feedback from a multi-disciplinary NHS Trust team, made up of administrators, managers, nurse practitioners and psychologists who collectively underwent the training emphasised that it is this lens and focus which makes the programme distinctive in its application and success. Their key takeaways from the training included: Focus on my own regulation to be co-regulating with othersSelf-compassion is a take home messageConsider tolerance and capacity of self and othersFocus on self-care needs to be prioritisedBe more mindful of regulation of staff when supporting inpatient servicesSelf-reflection of on own wellbeing and making this a prioritySo why does centring practitioner wellbeing make a difference in supporting service users and enhancing service provision? More effective in meeting needs in an individualised wayWhen practitioners are physically and mentally well, they are better able to coregulate and focus on the individual needs of each patient, make tailored clinical decisions, and deliver more compassionate and empathetic care. Teamwork and CollaborationPractitioners who feel supported and valued are more likely to coregulate and work as a team with their colleagues. This improved communication fosters collaboration, creating a positive and supportive work environment and community. A collaborative healthcare team is better equipped to address complex patient cases and provide comprehensive and complete care. Reduced Burnout and Staff TurnoverPrioritising practitioner wellbeing safeguards against burnout, a significant issue in the statutory services. Reduced burnout leads to lower turnover rates, ensuring continuity of care for patients. This stability is essential for building strong patient-practitioner relationships and maintaining consistent and effective service provision. Job Satisfaction and Staff RetentionPractitioners who are satisfied with their jobs are more likely to be engaged in their work. Higher job satisfaction translates to increased motivation, productivity, and a cheerful outlook towards patient care. Patients benefit from interactions with professionals who are energised, holistically well and happy in their work. Preventive CareWell-supported practitioners are more likely to engage in ongoing professional development, staying updated on the latest medical research and advancements. This translates to an initiative-taking approach to service user care, with a focus on specialist, evidence based, preventive measures alongside early intervention, leading to better outcomes. A Service-Wide ‘Well’ Culture Systems that prioritise practitioner wellbeing fosters an organisational culture of wellbeing. This culture emphasises a commitment to the wellbeing of everyone. Such an environment promotes a person-centred approach to work and care, ensuring that services and workplace norms are tailored to meet the diverse needs the whole organisation. This fosters value and belonging and therefore commitment to providing and engaging with the service. A Trauma-Informed Approach Service providers are often face traumatic, challenging and emotionally demanding situations. Well-supported and regulated practitioners are better equipped to digest stress responses and process vicarious trauma and are less likely to experience compassion fatigue. This is essential for maintaining consistent, high-quality care and service even in challenging circumstances. In summary, centring practitioner wellbeing has a ripple effect on patient wellbeing and service provision. A care and education system that values and supports its practitioners and teachers creates a positive feedback loop, where well professionals contribute to improved service user outcomes and the overall effectiveness of services. Prioritising practitioner wellbeing is not only an ethical imperative but also a strategic investment in the long-term success and sustainability of health, social and educational systems. This is a repost of a blog originally posted here: https://ndconnection.co.uk/blog/centring-pracitioner-wellbeing?rq=aldred Original post date 19th December 2023.  Video where I read aloud my latest NdC Blog 'I've been easy prey as an autistic girl and woman' and share more about the (free) NdC Grooming and Coercive Control Summit 27 Nov - 01 Dec. Listen in full on to this video and others I’m sharing over the next two weeks on Instagram by clicking here or LinkedIn by clicking here If this resonates or is helpful please like, comment and share as these topics don't always gain traction. For Summit and NdC details click here For full blog details here “There is an interconnected and feminist piece to acknowledge of course. One which exacerbates this phenomenon. Girls are conditioned to be ‘nice,’ people please and be resourced from by others (aka ‘used’). We are more susceptible to being groomed and coerced as societal decency literally grooms us into not following our biological impulses and instincts – not listening to our embodied knowing, intuition, and ‘neuroception’ (3) because good girls don’t object, shout, fight or get mad. They don’t say no. And frustratingly evidence suggests that there is a gender difference in the response men and women exhibit when under stress and threat, that being ‘fight-or-flight’ in men and ‘tend-and-befriend’ in women (4).
It is not the responsibility of girls to protect themselves from predators – it is the responsibility of society protect them. And this requires us all to be the change we want to see. Whilst, in our homes, schools and services we also need to first and foremost prioritise prevention, not simply focus on cure. As part of the NdC Grooming and Coercive Control Summit in November I will be sharing about the importance of relating and coregulation as part of the safeguarding and prevention strategies to deploy in relation to this topic. Alongside this I will be speaking to the importance of education for all of us, on these topics and the pivotal part we, as adults, need to take, as mentors, coaches, and also as role models and advocates of belonging, healthy relating and non-abusive dynamics, because ‘we can’t be it, if we can’t see it’ – and this is especially true for marginalised groups in society, of which autistic girls are on.”  Neurodivergent Affirming Language Guide
Click here Language develops and changes over time. Terms that were once seen as appropriate may not be appropriate today. An example of this is neurodivergent affirming language. This is the language used by and for the neurodivergent community. A useful free resource for anyone learning about their own neurodivergence, that of someone in their family or friendship group or anyone working in a public facing role - ie working with, alongside or supporting others ... and isn't that most of us?  Join us for five days of free webinars, guest blogs and curated resources. Together, we will start conversations, collate knowledge, and share lived experiences of grooming and coercive control.  From November 27th to December 1st we will be hosting our first Neurodiverse Connection Summit. We hope that this will be the first of many events that bring together experts and lived experience around a particular topic, to share research and insights in a programme of free webinars, resources and specially commissioned blogs.
The topic for this inaugural summit is Grooming and Coercive Control. The topic has been chosen because it receives relatively scant coverage, and we believe that challenging the stigma that surrounds it can help to accelerate positive change in a critical area. Everyone is welcome to attend the summit. This event might be of particular interest for autistic and other neurodivergent individuals and their families, teachers and service providers. I’m delighted to be one of the speaker at the Grooming and Coercive Control summit. Kay Louise Aldred highlights the sexist expectations and stereotypes that compound the marginalisation of Autistic girls and women, increasing their vulnerability to grooming and coercive and controlling behaviour.
Kay delivered a webinar as part of the G&CC Summit 2023.It is not the responsibility of girls to protect themselves from predators – it is the responsibility of society protect them. And this requires us all to be the change we want to see. Hypersensitivity, rejection dysphoria, deep empathy, vulnerability due to trauma, exclusion and isolation, alongside taking people at their word and not being able to fully read, comprehend or believe the depravity and manipulation of the ulterior motives of others mean I’ve been easy ‘prey’ as an autistic girl and woman. And having worked with hundreds of teenage girls in a pastoral and educational capacity, and more recently adult women in a coaching role, many of whom are neurodivergent, I know I’m not alone in this. Indeed. I see it as a pattern, and it is alarming to me how prevalent the grooming, coercive control, bullying, abuse and sexual violence (1) is amongst this demographic of society. When autistic girls can be overly trusting and when starved connection, especially when their difference has led them to experience bullying or ridicule in the past, can misread grooming (grooming is when someone builds a relationship, trust and emotional connection with a child or young person so they can manipulate, exploit and abuse them) (2) for love and care. Their innocence can easily be identified by predators who choose the right words of flattery or compliments or offer gifts to gain trust. Once in the grip of the groomer the isolation, secrecy, offending and coercive control follows, invariably, unless spotted by a caregiver or professional, undisturbed. The signs and symptoms of grooming and coercive control, which vary from one person to the next, but include sudden behaviour changes, being secretive about whereabouts and phone, missing school, alcohol or drug misuse, increased meltdown, shutdown, and stimming, can be spotted too late once the grooming and abuse is established. There is an interconnected and feminist piece to acknowledge of course. One which exacerbates this phenomenon. Girls are conditioned to be ‘nice,’ people please and be resourced from by others (aka ‘used’). We are more susceptible to being groomed and coerced as societal decency literally grooms us into not following our biological impulses and instincts – not listening to our embodied knowing, intuition, and ‘neuroception’ (3) because good girls don’t object, shout, fight or get mad. They don’t say no. And frustratingly evidence suggests that there is a gender difference in the response men and women exhibit when under stress and threat, that being ‘fight-or-flight’ in men and ‘tend-and-befriend’ in women (4). We need to educate girls about all of this from an early age – about how and why begin neurodivergent might place them more at risk, to safeguard against the grooming and coercive control. And this needs to start immediately as there has never been a more important time to teach all children about what healthy relating is and isn’t as we see a rise in blatant, overt, misogyny (5) and escalation in online grooming (6). It is not the responsibility of girls to protect themselves from predators – it is the responsibility of society protect them. And this requires us all to be the change we want to see. Whilst, in our homes, schools and services we also need to first and foremost prioritise prevention, not simply focus on cure. As part of the NdC Grooming and Coercive Control Summit in November I will be sharing about the importance of relating and coregulation as part of the safeguarding and prevention strategies to deploy in relation to this topic. Alongside this I will be speaking to the importance of education for all of us, on these topics and the pivotal part we, as adults, need to take, as mentors, coaches, and also as role models and advocates of belonging, healthy relating and non-abusive dynamics, because ‘we can’t be it, if we can’t see it’ – and this is especially true for marginalised groups in society, of which autistic girls are one. GCC Summit 2023 Webinars are available for free. References 1 https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnbeh.2022.852203/full ‘Evidence That Nine Autistic Women Out of Ten Have Been Victims of Sexual Violence’ 2 https://www.nspcc.org.uk/what-is-child-abuse/types-of-abuse/grooming 3 https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fnint.2022.871227/full 4https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3425245/#:~:text=-FIGHT%2DOR%2DFLIGHT%20V%2F,and%2Dbefriend'%20in%20women 5 https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-66101396 6 https://www.nspcc.org.uk/about-us/news-opinion/2022/online-grooming-crimes-rise This is a repost of a blog originally posted here: https://ndconnection.co.uk/blog/easy-prey-autistic-girls-and-women?rq=aldred Original post date 8th November 2023.  “The change aims to dismantle the influence of western medical beliefs rooted in colonial history and establish a more just, inclusive mental health framework. At Neurodiverse Connection we support this.”
Dear all, I’m personally feeling very vindicated by the and wanted to share the blog I wrote for NdC about this latest guidance. The future paradigm is incoming … "October 9th, 2023, World Health Organisation and the UN Human Rights Office jointly published the ‘Mental health, human rights and legislation: guidance and practice’ At Neurodiverse Connection we welcome and celebrate this step away from the medical model of mental health (which posits that mental distress is an illness, resulting from brain abnormality, genetics or biochemical imbalances, to be treated with psychiatric drugs, restraint and detention) and step instead towards social models (which suggest that mental distress is due to socio-economic, cultural and environmental oppression, stigma and social exclusion), human rights and trauma-informed approaches (which move away from pathologizing and asking ‘what’s wrong with you?’ to exploring the question ‘what happened to you that has caused this understandable mental distress you are experiencing?’). This is aligned with the development and training work we are already doing around addressing inequality with CAMHS, Mental Health Services and NHS trusts. At Neurodiverse Connection we support an improved understanding of neurodiversity in health and social care with the aim of challenging stigma and discrimination and the consideration of intersectionality, continually appraising how we can support the amplification of views and voices that are often unseen and unheard. Our Neurodivergent Friendly Train the Trainer Wellbeing Approach is trauma-informed, integrative, and comprehensive and we also deliver nervous system focused training sessions focused on regulation and restraint reduction. In addition, we advocate for shifts in culture in NHS Mental Health Services towards a relational, co-regulation and embodiment paradigm, focusing on advocacy for radically rethinking approaches to eating disorders and self-harm by taking an intersectional lens and addressing systemic and sensory oppression, and social exclusion." Extract from my latest Neurodiverse Connection blog about this document. Are you looking for an alternative gift experience this festive season?
Or, are you looking to consciously release 2023 and enter 2024? These pop up events I’m running at The Acorn in December (some co-facilitated with my husband Dan) might be the perfect fit. Spaces limited to 8-10 persons at each event. Hope to see you, your daughter, and your partner or friend there. Sacred Feminine Winter Solstice Afternoon Half Day Workshop 1-4 pm at The Acorn £60pp Fri 29th December Book here Empowering Teenage Girls 2 Hour Workshop 2-4pm at The Acorn £45pp Sat 30th December Book here Top Tips for Parenting Teens (co-facilitated with Dan Aldred) 2 Hour Workshop 11am - 1pm at The Acorn £80 per couple or friends, £50 for individuals Sat 30th December Book here Cord cutting 2023 and Create a Vision Board for 2024 (co-facilitated with Dan Aldred) Half Day Workshop 1-4pm at The Acorn £100 per couple or friends, £75 for individuals Sun 31st December Book here  This is the final of four anthologies I've co-edited with Trista and Pat (Girl God Books) and our final (for the time being at least) of eight projects together - 4 co-edited anthologies and 4 of my own authored books - concluding this chapter of our prolific and fruitful nearly four year professional and creative collaboration together.
4 anthologies 🔥 4 workbooks 🔥 4 years 🔥 of finding meaning in the fire in companionship with other women Pain Perspectives is an anthology that tells the stories of women’s bodies and their experiences of chronic pain and illness. It also reveals the deep wisdom held within the suffering. The art, writing, and poetry from women around the world showcased in this book offers three clear messages. The first is that women are sick both metaphorically and physically. Lots of women. The second is that the patriarchal systems and structures in society are the origin of the sickness. Patriarchy hurts. The third is that the path of Goddess is both the medicine and the cure. Pleasure liberates. Read how Goddess and Goddess spirituality supports women to heal and find their voice, so that others may too. The anthology was published on Samhain - Oct 31st - 2023 from and is available to purchase now at Girl God Books, online stores or clicking the button below. |
AuthorKay Louise Aldred MA, PGCE Archives
September 2024
Categories
All
|
RSS Feed
