Latest @girlgodbooks anthology is OUT NOW!

Wounded Feminine : Grieving with Goddess
 
superbly coedited by @cladorartandwords Trista and Pat

"Wounded Feminine is a magnificent chorus, which wades in the mind/heart/soul of the reader churning the long-lasting waves inwardly. Animating the legacy of the collective grief and strife for love and connection with the whole, many voices of the anthology reshape the consciousness of what was lost and transform the subconsciousness into the power of the Cosmic Mother. This anthology is the seeds of deep thoughts, the indispensable steps for matriversal soteriology."

-Helen Hye-Sook Hwang, the author of Reader: Toward Magoist Cetaceanism (Mago Books, 2023)

Available from @girlgodbooks website or online stores
 
 

1. Me and the Inquisitor. An Abridged Version. As my Body Remembers it.
   
   One of two featured submissions I have in the powerful latest @girlgodbooks anthology Wounded Feminine : Grieving with Goddess superbly coedited by @cladorartandwords Trista and Pat
   
   Available from @girlgodbooks website or online stores
   
   In this piece of writing I outline the inherent misogynistic nature & 'witch-hunt' energies of my (failed!) experience of the Anglican Priesthood Ordination Discernment Process.

 

1. Breaking the Spell and Lifting the Curse - What was I looking for from the Christian Religion and Anglican Church?
   
   
   
   "I was searching for a devotional and authentic community committed to spiritual growth and healthy relating. As a Priest I hoped to facilitate this.
   
   The construction - the breaking down ...
   
   THEY DON'T WANT THAT. THEY DON'T VALUE THAT.
   
   ... I see it clearly.
   
   I was both repeating and trying to resolve, trying to repair, through the Church, my family of origin trauma patterning"
   
   
   
   Second of two featured submissions I have in the powerful latest @girlgodbooks anthology Wounded Feminine : Grieving with Goddess superbly coedited by @cladorartandwords Trista and Pat 
   
   Available from @girlgodbooks website or online stores

​Deconstruct : 'to break something down into its separate parts in order to understand its meaning, especially when this is different from how it was previously understood' (Cambridge Dictionary)

It's not usual August energy. 2024 hasn't been a year of the 'same old'. We are a choice point #evolve or

This is the POINT of wellness & spiritual practices, of education - to support us to deconstruct (individually, collectively, institutionally) - to go #inandthrough - and rebuild a humane, humanitarian, humanity.

I was raised in a working class northern mining village (near Sunderland where the recent race riots & far right violence have taken place). My grandfathers were miners. I was surrounded by poverty, hostile, racist language and attitudes, domestic violence, abuse and misogyny.

And I was fortunate to escape that cycle through education, reconnecting to my body and soul and through the ongoing deconstruction of (and divesting from) the internalised constructs of racism, ableism, classism, misogyny, colonialism etc etc.

I'm not an expert. This work is not done. And it's messy & painful.

And, I continue to do it because I value humanity, feel a moral obligation to repair/heal on behalf of past generations and evolve for the sake of future generations. And I recognise interconnectedness - and therefore the futility of doing anything other than this.

Divest : to get rid of (Cambridge Dictionary)

This is what we are being called to do during these times. Deconstruct & divest from external & internalised, conscious & unconscious constructs, attitudes, thought forms, language, behaviour and repetitions of racism.

Spiritual and wellbeing practice of the week : BE ACTIVELY ANTI-RACIST.

​This week has highlighted (again) the urgent need for all of us to move from non-racist to anti-racist.

This is a process and one which is much needed in family, educational, academic, healthcare, therapy, wellbeing, religious & spiritual spaces.

I speak only to what I have direct experience of - it is of course needed everywhere.

Brilliant model by Andrew M. Ibrahim MD, MSc which I'm reflecting on today as I assess where I am (& the circles I mix in are) on the journey & where to go next to learn, grow & evolve.

Resensitise : to make someone sensitive to (= aware of or affected by) something again (Cambridge Dictionary)

The systems, structures & institutions in patriarchal & colonial societies are designed to desensitise us - make us insensitive, unaware of our common humanity, unaffected by the suffering of others.

For me the purpose of 'healing' and of spiritual & wellbeing practices are to provide tools to develop the capacity to FEEL more & communities where we become aware of our interconnectedness, our common humanity, & are affected & moved by the suffering of others.

The purpose is for us to be fully resourced & feel so deeply, with such compassion & empathy, that we are mobilised to take action for collective change & justice.

Rehumanise : to make human again, to make it suitable for humans again (no dictionary definition needed)

We finish our time in education dehumanised, dissociated & disembodied, after hours sat at desks, separated from nature & creativity, being fed a colonial curriculum.

We enter into a dehumanising society, working in dehumanising institutions, operating in dehumanising structures.

Being fed dehumanising & colonial narratives this time by the media.

May those of us who are providing pathways away from this - creatives, artists, writers, poets, activists, advocates, holistic & nature based therapists, wellbeing practitioners, social justice communities - focus on REHUMANISING.

REHUMANISING not only individuals, collectives, communities but essentially organisational, institutional and structural policy, procedure, & practice.

Let's make society & its institutions humane, humanitarian & hospitable for humans - at a mind, body & soul level.

​BYSTANDERS

"In recent years, I have begun to contemplate the idea of a fourth and final stage of recovery, and that is justice. If trauma is truly a social problem, and indeed it is, then recovery cannot be simply a private, individual matter. The wounds of trauma are not merely those caused by the perpetrators of violence and exploitation; the actions of the bystanders - all those who are complicit in or who prefer not to know about the abuse or who blame the victims - often cause ever deeper wounds"

Truth and Repair ~ Judith Herman

Sometimes a book puts into words your #fleshyknowing & resonates deeply with your lived experience & validates you so profoundly that your life is forever changed by it.

Reading this book, this weekend, has had that impact.

Thank you for writing this book Judith Herman #trailblazer #truthteller #justiceseeker

COMPLICITY

"Acknowledgement on a massive scale means recognition not only of the crimes committed by individual perpetrators but also of the complicity of all the people who enabled them.

... they wanted the church to stipulate 'that the abuse was not the fault of the victims, and that the shame belongs only to those who did the abuse and those who covered it up.'"

Truth and Repair ~ Judith Herman

A transferable & relevant extract which validates my #fleshyknowing that the institutions in society we go to for our moral compass, justification & solace are in fact a-moral in their complicity in abuse (of all kinds), victim blaming & dehumanisation.

Whilst survivors may creatively find comfort in the spiritual realm - directly in relation with the Divine - ultimately trauma can't be resolved & healed without a HUMAN community which is not complicit, does not deny or stay silent to abuse & actively seeks justice.

A humane, humanitarian, human community forging a humane, humanitarian humanity.

I've found that some of the most victim blaming, retraumatising & dehumanising spaces are 'moral' 'theological' 'religious' 'spiritual' 'wellbeing' & 'therapeutic' spaces.

VISIONING JUSTICE

The radical (or root cause addressing) survivors vision of justice needs "truth and repair -acknowledgement, vindication, apology, and amends - from their moral communities"

"Because many people in their communities enabled the abuse they endured, they seek community amends in the form of institutional & cultural change"

Truth and Repair ~ Judith Herman

I've had a #fleshyknowing of this for a while. I now have research & evidence based text to say I'm not alone in this vision.

No more victim blaming. No more bystander apathy & silence. No more collusion.

In our homes, families & friendship groups, schools, churches, wellbeing retreats, spiritual communities, universities, mental health services, court rooms (& all the other spaces we inhabit)

Actively educate - deconstruct, divest, resensitise & rehumanise - evolve & embody JUSTICE.

Words for these times.
 
I’ll leave it there for now.
 
Kay x

I am sharing here my journal entries and theological reflections from Holy Week, 2024. When journalling I usually start with a question and then sit quietly and wait for the answer. This is what I wrote.

Remind me again. What is Theology?
It is the study of the Divine.

This, spirituality, and education – from neuro-queering and embodied perspectives – are my academic, professional, and lived experience specialisms and expertise.

What do I need to know today, which is Good Friday?
On Good Friday we are reminded of the fate which awaits humanitarian and humane humans who challenge the empire, its systems, and the status quo.

When enough of us: a) recognise the abusive and oppressive overarching culture and structure we live in and b) work on our nervous system regulation – moving out of functional freeze and dissociation, collapse, and fawning – digesting sympathy energies of flight and fight which result from the thawing, the solidarity, belonging and safety between us will result in a humane, humanitarian, humanity – in which such revolutionaries are the leaders, pioneers and visionaries of new society structures and global order.

What do I need to know today, which is Holy Saturday?
On Holy Saturday we depathologise despair and pivot to the perpetrator.

Despair is a normal response to loss.

‘Why have you forsaken me?’ is a healthy expression when we have been subjected to abuse. Flee and overwhelm are normal nervous system responses to threats. A community that sees any member, but especially its teacher, be subjected to torture and horror, would experience terror, freeze, and survivor’s guilt.

On Holy Saturday we can pause, refocus, and zoom out – looking at the bigger picture.
And in doing so we pivot to the perpetrator.

Victim blaming and pathologisation of trauma responses divert attention away from the perpetrator and the choice they made to harm.

The empire, its systems and institutions, was (and still is) the predator and abuser – actively hunting and killing the most humane, humanitarian, humans – peacemakers, status quo challengers, divergent free-thinkers, and creatives.

Holy Saturday is our shocking wake-up call to our overarching cultural norms. We lay collapsed in the dark cave – the tomb/womb – of that realisation.

What do I need to know today, which is Easter Sunday?
On Easter Sunday we are reminded that the resurrection of a humane and humanitarian humanity will happen through trauma resolution and restoring regulation – despite the scars – individually and collectively.

Resurrection is humanity’s embodiment post-trauma.

Mind and body come out of ‘freeze’; dissociation, numbness and collapse, survival responses complete and there is restoration of the (co-)regulation; compassionate goodness, flow, human spirit – despite (and in spite) of the scars – individually and collectively.

A humane and humanitarian humanity, living as and from the parasympathetic ventral vagal nervous system, simultaneously rises and descends in and through healthy embodiment – as a tangible divinity – governed by fleshy knowing, collectively liberated from the hell of the abusive and oppressive overarching culture of empire, systems, institutions, governance, and dogma.

The start and end point is the body.

What do I need to know today, which is Easter Monday?
Post-resurrection, the ‘risen’ humane and humanitarian humanity will acknowledge that there is no separation between spiritual and human needs. Interaction with scarred bodies and nervous system health will be the spiritual practice. Ensuring that everyone has access to decent food, clean water, warmth, shelter, movement, and sanitation will be the devotional act.

Doubting Thomas placing his hands directly on the scars, and Jesus, the trauma survivor turned thriver activist, saying yes to the request, offering co-regulation, role modelling and mentorship in No Word Theology – trusting our own felt sense discernment – aka fleshy knowing – going in and through embodiment – above all else.

Interaction with scarred bodies and nervous system health is to be the spiritual practice – aka Embodiment Spirituality.

‘Feed my lambs’ Jesus said, emphasising a practical and community focus, a very tangible divinity.

Post-resurrection, the ‘risen’ humane and humanitarian humanity will acknowledge that there is no separation between spiritual and human needs. Ensuring that everyone has access to decent food, clean water, warmth, shelter, movement, and sanitation will be the devotional act.

The start and end point is the body.

After Easter week I presented a paper – “Making Love with the Divine: Sacred, Ecstatic and Erotic Experiences,” for the first time, at the SST Prayer conference, which outlined two concepts; Tangible Divinity and No Words Theology. These are ‘lived experience’ embodiment theologies, rooted in embodiment spirituality, embodied education [1] and the resolution of trauma, in what I call our Divine Nervous System.

I wonder, now, if this is what the deeper meaning of the resurrection story is and that Theology, especially practical theology, needs to reflect this. Imagine a non-hierarchal, non-dogmatic, and non-ableist Theology which emphasises embodied theological education, and our body wisdom and draws on the polyvagal theory [2], to become a no-words study of locating the divine in and through the body within our flesh knowing, as Jesus and Thomas demonstrated.

As I complete this reflection on Easter week this year I thank all the scholars, teachers, mentors, including Audre Lorde, Lisa Isherwood, Elizabeth Stuart, Marcella Althaus-Reid, Dr Peter Levine, Dr Stephen Porges, Irene Lyon, Dr Gabor Mate and Cole Arthur Reily, whose work inspired these ideas and reflections. In addition, I wholeheartedly thank the women who contributed their lived day-to-day ‘mundane’ and ‘ordinary’ yet ‘sacred’ and ‘spiritual’ experiences and shares, to the research process for the workbook I authored, Making Love with the Divine: Sacred, Ecstatic and Erotic Experiences [3], which was published last year by Girl God Books, and explores tangible divinity more deeply.

​References
​[1] See: https://www.thegirlgod.com/embodied_education.php
[2] See: https://www.polyvagalinstitute.org/whatispolyvagaltheory
[3] See: https://www.thegirlgod.com/making_love.php

This is a repost of this blog, originally posted here: https://practicaltheologyhub.com/?p=1453
Originally posted 1st August 2024.